SIEANNEN BELL

Madonna Original Painting by Edvard Munch

A Prayer in the Flesh

Lips unlocked from yours

I tell myself to tear away

raise my chest from yours

and flee

safe and wordless

back to tall trees

because

I have always been

WILD enough

to save myself

But you kiss my belly

and my fingers

while you turn around

and around

inside me

tracing lines and light

across my skin

until I CRY out

pushing you down and away

                                    clenching all my

                                                            fear in a single fist

                        shaking with rage

                                    burning up the air

                                                with my furious destruction

                                    (I strip myself of red-tipped feathers)

                        I am pressure with no release

                                                            no release

I flail broken winged

corroding my own bones

with adrenalin inspired fury

until you guide me back up

bringing me breath

and you give me

less bitter tonics for pain

than the way I BEAT myself

against this bed

and your body

where you catch me

time after time

to turn me back

towards my spirit

but I must BEAR myself

and resurrect the red hawk

restore the sky to my un-wounded flight

before I can move with you

instead of falling

so far behind

            (vertigo-bound)

whenever we

attempt to

leave the ground

You shield me from me

through the wracking sway of us

mangled by sob and moan

fierce-eyed

when

you gentle me

back to tears

away

from shredding too-thin walls

with my teeth and fingers

while rocking astride of you

You say, let yourself LIVE, woman,

give up and meld into me

stop struggling

strip it all down

to simple longing

to the unendurable weight of wanting

to be filled up to spilling with beauty

to be not alone

for this many minutes

to rise and fall

with the breath of another body

give it up

give up

go

I sob and freefall with the rhyme of you

while you smile

and slide through me

like rain or mercury

raising me up snake-like in my sudden surrender

Hypnotic and serpentine, I slow and sustain

this prayer that I am becoming

no longer needing

to flee the hook

of pleasure

as it tangles in me

bringing on another kind of cry

where I open

yes I open

and I FLY

Temple of Love

Original Painting by Rodin

Dreaming Myself Awake

I am still the dispossessed

riding bareback on the plains

across a great field

of grass and flowers

strong and beautiful

as I always am in dreams

with a smile lighting up the sky

so bright the scars are almost

                                                untraceable

I hold on to the horse with my hips

rocking in my sleep

to a rhythm that blows me open

at the core

in what depth of vision do I

finally

become myself?

-HERE-

in the beat of my heart against my mind

in the beat of my body against the sky

in the drum of hooves and hands on skin

                                                -HERE-

I say to myself:

sing me up

dream me back

see me for what

I really am

I wake up

falling out

of old skins

I wake up

still riding

bareback

across a

great field

of grass

and flowers

I wake up

-broken open to my pulsing core-

Women Original Painting by Rodin

Still Wet With Rain

I am still wet

with rain

my hair tumble-down

and wild

in the heat

I stand

in shadow

tree-hidden

in the failing light

your breath

makes my body

arch,

I extend and grow

birch-limb-like

under your fingers

under the press

and measure

of your hands

slow as summer

teaching me

a new language

through touch

and the gentle twist

of your tongue

down the trail of my spine

up the sharp curve of my face

into the pulsing burn of my mouth

I break through

the steady thrum of insects

with my cry

my low staccato spin

                                                of moan and bit-off whisper

against your hair

wrapped all around me

thick sap

clings

to my fingers

where I hold

and clench

against this tree

you rest

inside of me

I move

                                    over and over

                                    through you

past you

until you

die a thousand deaths

the face of your prayer

beautiful with burning

            infinite

with knowing

leaves blow

and stray

against our single body